Mother and Daughter Talk

Pleasure of love lasts but a moment, Pain of love lasts a lifetime.

I want to sit down and talk to my mother about christmas the reason why i want to sit down with her is because i want to let her know what she doing is wrong not for nothing i want to change my life around and tell her that i'm smoking and drinking but the thing is i really want to sit down with her and give her the real deal and say mom i would take everything back i did in the past to show her that i could really change. Like i really love my mother no funny shit but i don't know what would i do with out my mother like i know she not gonna be around for long but all i want from her is her care and love for her daughter that never had a chance to have care and love for her real mother. Because being with out my real mother is really crazy for me because others don't know how it feels to be in my shoes i swear they don't but yeah i want to sit down with my mother and get everything off my chest the lies the be trade and most likely how i feel about everything thats been going around. I don't want to hurt my mother feelings i don't like seeing my mother cry but if it comes down to that point then i'ma have to hurt her feelings and make her cry because what i'ma tell her is gonna be real and its going to be coming from my mouth i'ma just have to make sure that it won't turn into a break up between a mother and daughter relationship. Because i would hate to be in a place with nothing but a black room with nothing but EMPTY NESS and BULLSHIT. I just hope she knows how i feel about what i'ma say to her and i hope she got the right words to say so it won't come down to that level that she won't be able to trust me or come down to that level that i cant be her daughter that she had before because it won't be the same at all.